I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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