But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
