Pappa wants mamma naked
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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