Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
