Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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