Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
