he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize