It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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