Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
