You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
