I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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