i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
