Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Bring me that man meat
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
