We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Randomize
