The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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