hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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