it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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