I want to make a zoo with you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
