The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
