I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
