Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
