I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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