Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
