sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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