they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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