He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
