i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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