I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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