I want to walk on stilts...naked
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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