i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
honey bunches of taint.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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