Have you finally orgasmed yet?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
