We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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