So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize