Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
