Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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