K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
