first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Fuck appropriateness.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
