she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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