I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
