Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
