no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
