What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
