Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now