We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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