we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is