And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.