It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
