I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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