K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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