i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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