I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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