i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
