WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
