Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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