I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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