True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
