Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
