those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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