They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
