remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
why is half of my head shaved?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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