saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
